You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.
Sometimes
Sometimes I question you,
And wonder whether you’re listening.
I can’t see you, or touch you, or even feel you,
So how do I know if you’re really there?
Sometimes I get mad at you,
When I see bad things happen to good people.
I wonder why you wouldn’t save them.
It makes me wonder if you’re real.
Sometimes when I pray to you,
I can sense that you are there with me,
Watching over me as your child,
Blessing me with your grace.
Sometimes when I can see you clearly,
When I see little babies or kind smiles,
Generous people and the beauty of nature,
It makes me believe with my whole heart.
Sometimes my questions about you don’t matter,
Even though there are never definite answers.
I have faith in your love.
Forgive me, God, for ever questioning you.
Lord Your Mighty by Youthful Praise
Very simple song, very repetitive, but I love it.
I am holding you by your right hand - I, the Lord your God - and I say to you, don’t be afraid; I am here to help you.
Yes, the Lord hears the good man when he calls to Him for help, and saves him out of all his troubles. The Lord is close to those whose heart is breaking; He rescues those who are humbly sorry for their sins. The good man does not escape all troubles - he has them, too. But the Lord helps him in each and every one.
Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant than pretend to be somebody and have no food.
At the age of 11, after the molestation officially stopped, I was terrified of men, boys, and had a somewhat disgust towards them. I had a boyfriend at the time, and he was the only guy I was comfortable with. But each time a male, who wasn’t my boyfriend, hugged me, I would become very scared and want to run away. Sometimes I would even almost start crying in the middle of a hug.
I remember being curious of what exactly my molester did to me and why he did it. So I would look stuff up online, and of coarse, sex was opened up to me on a totally new level. I would be grossed out with the male’s body parts, and would hate everything he did. But I didn’t mind the girls one bit. My fear of males continued, but my fascination of the female body grew. I found myself wanting to watch out for other girls around me because I believed that the boys were just out to get them and they were going to be hurt just like I was. I became highly attracted to females, and felt like I needed to watch after them, love them, and keep them safe, because I wish someone did the same for me.
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)
“Forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus.”
