I want you free, I want you to be able to love with no fear, to let go of everything that’s ever happened to you, everything that you’ve been through, and everything that you’ve had to deal with. I want you to know that there’s hope. Know that tomorrow can be another day. Know when to be strong and when it’s okay to be sad. I just want you to stop running from everything, or trying to ignore the situations that you know you need to fix.
You’ll be so much happier this way, and I want to see you happy so so badly. I’ll fight with you if I have to, stand by your side and pick you up when you fall, and we can do this together. You just have to be willing to literally let everything go. Your pride, your past, your fear, your uncertainty, and your defenses.
I love you, and want the best for you. But what your doing right now… Where you are right now just isn’t it, and it makes me sad to watch… I always pray that you’ll understand one day.
I am sad. Tonight, I feel like I borderline hate myself. Tonight, I feel like I’ve failed myself. I feel like I’m never going to change, like I’m going to be this ‘screwed up’ little girl forever, and there’s no hope for me. I’ll always complicate friendships, always be this afraid girl hiding from the world, always have low self esteem, and always have to pretend that I’m okay for everyone else. I’ll never see my dad again, I’ll be alone forever, and I’ll grow up doing nothing with myself, sit in my room and dream of what could have been of my life.
My head is screaming these things at me. I’m trying to block them out and focus on God, what his promises say, trusting God is able to transform us, having faith in the fact that He is a healer of broken hearts, broken spirits, and brokenness overall. He will never leave or forsake His child. Right now, I just don’t feel it at all. However, faith is still trusting and believing even when you can’t see, hear, or feel your Father. This is why I still fight.
http://starve-d.tumblr.com/ (SI & ED Trigger Warning) - This girl is struggling with self-destructive thoughts and could use some love.
Orange Alert - possible suicide risk
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“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV)
I have a tendency to find beauty in anything and everything. In the darkest moments, in the most damaged people. I always seem to see something good in people. I take in all the things they don’t like about themselves, and see how that could be turned into something so wonderful.
Even though I complain and get sad at moments, afterwards, I always find the good, that one ray of sunshine to look to, to chase after, and continue to move forward.
